Whether you agree or not that the ballot should be mocked (and there are lots of reasons to do so, starting with the fact that many eligible voters no longer actually cover the game), here's your chance to vote for the Deadspin ballot, which (along with its voter) will be revealed only AFTER the results of the HoF election are announced.
If you need lifetime stats for anyone, you can find them at Baseball-Reference or The Baseball Cube.
FWIW, here's my ballot:
Explicitly NOT voting for admitted PED users. (Suspected is a different story. Show me the evidence and I might change my mind.) So no Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Sammy Sosa, Rafael Palmeiro, or Mark McGwire.
In another year, I might have voted for Lee Smith or Edgar Martinez. But Frank Thomas is, IMO, a better DH than Martinez -- despite Edgar's also being deserving -- and Smith is probably a borderline yes in a year that doesn't have a dozen or fifteen legitimate candidates. (Personally, I dislike the ten person limit, but it's in place, so there.)
Anyway, go vote.